Hello friends. It’s time to rip off the Band-aide and just start. No more excuses. No more thinking. Just do it already, Jennifer! After all, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one simple step. So I offer you Voices of Sensory Processing Disorder.
When my husband and I first had children, we were shocked. (Aren’t all parents?) What we didn’t realize was that my now five-year-old had Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). What the pediatricians called “colicky” about sent me screaming from the house in tears. Of course, now I understand. But those years of not understanding, of blaming myself, of believing I was a poor mother because I couldn’t help or manage my child, added to sending our house into a spiral of stress, tension and despair, and me into a deep depression.
While I recognize that I’m more than just some SPD mama, it’s been very hard to find who I am between doctor appointments, pediatric OT appointments, allergy appointments, ENT appointments. Basically, I have donned myself the Resident Medical Officer because that’s what I’ve become. But now it’s time to embrace not only the challenges my two sons face but to also reclaim myself.
A couple years into having kids, a very smart friend told me — “When you have kids, you lose half of your personality. It comes back but not right away.” Now add a couple of SPD kiddos to the mix. I feel like I’ve lost myself in this process, and I’m ready to come back fighting. I don’t think I’ll ever have the “ideal” house — does anyone? — but I’m striving to regain the right balance of helping my sons so they can be successful down the line, however they choose to define that, and allowing myself to find the person that I am.
Of course, easier said than done. When I’m not with my kids, I’m thinking about them, worrying about them, wondering what I could be doing better for them. But this is the course for all parents. So I welcome you to Voices of Sensory Processing Disorder, where we can all share our personal journeys, insights, knowledge, messes and triumphs. It’s time to stop being silent and give a voice to Sensory Processing Disorder. Welcome to the community!
Related articles
- Parenting a Child with Sensory Processing Disorder (thesensoryspectrumblog.com)
- Revealing the Elephant in the Room (voicesofsensoryprocessingdisorder.com)
- Understanding Your Child’s Sensory Signals (thesensoryspectrumblog.com)
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Jennifer Hughes aka spdmama
A mom evolving as she navigates the waters of having two children with sensory processing disorder and sharing her knowledge. I’ve started The Sensory Spectrum, The Jenny Evolution and now Voices with Sensory Processing Disorder. Only through education and sharing can we become stronger as individuals and as a community.
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YES! To all of the above. Yes, to feeling like I was a bad mom for not seeing it earlier, I have an early childhood teaching degree, you’d think I’d have known? I CRIED my eyes out the whole way home from our first OT appointment when he said the words, “Sensory Defensive Disorder”. My baby was on fight or flight for 4 years before we found an amazing OT that helped us both so much. I lost myself both as a person, and then as a mom, and I dove head first into figuring out what was “wrong” with my son so I could help him, meanwhile trying to parent a little fireball known as son #2. The second one was my colicky baby who didn’t sleep-who still has issues with sleep. Our current pediatrician doesn’t believe in SPD, but signs off on the script for OT for my son’s “motor delays”. I often feel like I am managing this alone. I even lost me as a mom for a while. Looking back now I can call it depression, then I just thought I was tired from a child who didn’t sleep, and when he was out of bed was bouncing off the walls. It is HARD to be an SPD momma! Other mommy’s out there, know you are NOT alone! Reach out to one of us if you need it…we need to bond together
I love what you wrote about the experience of being an SPD mom!! I totally feel like I’ve lost myself in the process, and my blog is a way for me to reclaim some of my identity too. I felt like I was a bad mom so many times for all the reasons you mention. It’s so important to get the word out to other families that they are not alone!
Naming it and addressing it so important. Thanks for putting yourself out there.
I know when my son was a baby I just thought he was developmentally behind due to being a preemie. His doctors told me not to worry. But I did. I should have listened to my intuition, for finally when he was five I had a name for what ailed my son. My son’s struggles are my struggles. I’m glad to have found a place to voice my feelings without judgement and to know that I too am not alone.
Reblogged this on Voices of Special Needs.
And how about how it affects your marriage?